No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
