Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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