this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
