Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
