I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
