if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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