No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
