Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
