im about as happy as oj after his trial
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
