I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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