Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
