it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
