Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the day after is always just damage control
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Are we still banned from the library?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
