why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
