that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
