You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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