I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
