Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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