I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
