I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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