you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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