I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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