Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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