When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
