break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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