I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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