I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
