We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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