she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
