this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
