we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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