So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
