I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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