I'm gonna have a badass scar
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
