just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
