Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
