is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
