He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
