Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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