i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
