i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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