she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
