He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
