Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
