she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
