Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
