but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You smell like a Billy Joel song
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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