then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
