Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
