this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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