It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize