i jhust puked up my retainher.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
