Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
