if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
