last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
her facebook's as public as her vagina
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
