you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
